This is not pretty for me, or for anyone who thinks. It is hard to live every day the same way. It is hard to see same people every day, to go to the same job that you hate, it is hard to have same problems every single day. And now I really do not have clue how to figure it out. I hope that one day would be better and the things would change. But here, there are almost no chances for that. Especially when you are looking for a job as a writer or philosophy professor. It is really sad and frustrating. Only you can do is to runaway from here. Many young people do that almost every day. There is no future for anyone who is educated, and who wants to make some progress in life and career.
Grief in the morning
Every single morning, I must get up and go to work, boring job for students. It should be part time job, but we must work full time and we get paid as we are working part-time. After that I must run to the class. And every single day like this. After finishing college, there is almost no chance to get a job I deserve. Like many other young people, I already started to looking for better opportunity. Because if I stay here, I will not have future, that is the reason why I feel very blue every single morning. I do not have power to fight for something because I know it is lost battle. I do not have motivation or desire to do something here, I already know that I can not make any changes.
Make your own opportunity
Many of my colleagues decided to go in America, with work and travel program. It is great opportunity for young people who want to work and meet some new way of life, new culture, new people… But I could never go so far. I would like to visit America but only as a tourist. It would be too hard for me to live there and be so far away from everything I love. But sometimes you must sacrifice for your future, for better life.
I like life in Europe. It is very different and more relaxing. Even if Western Europe is well known by work and discipline, they still have something in their souls that made them a bit different. Here in Eastern Europe is definitely different situation. We did not get used to work so hard, we like going out and relax more. Here in Bosnia we like to drink, to have a good time, to enjoy life. But at the end of the day we need a little more obligations and work, because we need something healthier to keep us alive. Because of that I decided to find some good student exchange programme, and get away as soon as possible. It is hard to find anything when you are philosophy student. It is usually thought that we are do nothing. But I have twenty seven books to read for just one subject, so think about that. Philosophy is underestimated, because many do not know what it really looks like.
Chasing your future
When you living somewhere where you will never see anything bright about your future, you must think how to change it. So I am getting prepared for studying abroad. I think about Austria, about Germany, Australia, UK… I think really a lot about that. And I am really not sure where to go. I would like to continue studying philosophy and find good postgraduate program in that subject. Believe me that is so hard. No one likes philosophy or wants to study it. Whole world has wrong opinion about it. But I will not quit. So one day I was really worth, and I was looking for the best opportunity for me and my love, philosophy. Germany, oh that beautiful Germany, really good for philosophy, some of the best philosophers are German. They really know what they are doing, but unfortunately I realized that now they do not have so good opinion about it. World is changing, and in 21st century no one needs philosophers. Everyone wants people who would work hard with no asking questions. Especially a force like Germany.
But in last moment before I became dissapointed, I found something wonderful, something incredible. University of Bristol gave me new look at the philosophy, so I am hoping that one day I could go there and continue my philosophy studying. They have a great program that combines philosophy and physics. Is there anything better? For me, there is not. I love physics, but people usually think that philosophers want to run away from mathematics and Science. And they are so wrong. And rarely who can imagine that philosophy and physics can not exist without each other.
Grateful that there is someone who understands that connection, and who decides to make that programe, now I only have to find the way how to become student at University of Bristol. It is hard for me, because of visa and especially because of very expencive schoolarships. But there is always the way. I am working now and there is always organisations that help students to apply for student exchange.
In the contry where professors are not educated for their job, lectures are not interesting, and you can not learn anything from those. You are bored and sad, and dissapointed. And you really have no wish to do anything. You become insensitive, do not care for anything. So your only hope is one morning in Bristol. Maybe there would be better. Maybe there would be some future for me. Maybe… I do not know. But there will be better lectures for sure.
I know that people are always the same, and they have the same problems, but sometimes you need to runaway from you safe zone, to see something else, to be someone else. To be philosopher somewhere where people will appreciate you. That would become boring one day too, and what then? Nothing, just move on, and find something new.