Preskoči na glavni sadržaj

I can not

You know how everybody had used to tell us that being strong is one of the best qualities that person can have. And partly it is true. Imagine you fail on your exam and broke into tears in front of everyone, or flip out because you can not get a day free from work and  you wanted to go on  that soccer game so badly. You're 21 and you're acting like a spoiled rat, what a looser. But you are tough and you would not allow this to happened to you. So,when some unsatisfying situation hits you, you stop for a second, breathe in, breathe out couple of times and just let it go. Yeah, sure, you will deal with it somewhere private when you are alone, just like they taught you, but for now you are ok and there stops everything. The question that lot of people forget to ask themselves  is – Am I really OK?

Deal with problems later

This is definitely a useful technique to overcome some situations, but the main problem about it is generalization. We generalize and simplify everything but we can not see that this brings more harm than good. Dealing with problems later works for those minor situations where you can not loose your cool and being patient in that moment can save you from hours of regretting, situations like those I mentioned in first paragraph. The thing is, not every life situation is like this. Oh no, not even a 10%. So what to do with the rest of it? Lately I have been seeing a lot of people acting like this whole time. Trying to be concrete-strong and not showing emotions  when something disturbs you so bad. I even noticed it with myself. But why people keep doing this to themselves? Do they hate themselves? Are they masochists? No and no. They have been taught like that. When you are young people around you are teaching you to be strong, breathe, leave it, sleep on it, but also, when you are young your problems are small so this works in that moment. But, unfortunately, you can not be a child forever. One day you have to grow up and deal with some serious problems and if you do not know anything else but that, oh boy, you are in trouble. There will be leftovers of every single problem you ever faced, and those little but significant particles will be stored somewhere deep, and before you noticed it you will be sucked into a vortex that you have unintentionally made. This process is slow and invisible and that is why it is so dangerous and it leads to depression in a blink of an eye.

Leave me alone            

So, if we do not have energy or we do not want to deal with problem in instant and we can not leave it for later, question is what to do than? Well there is no much philosophy behind this, just erase words LEAVE and DEAL and you will get the answer. It is perfectly fine to say I CAN NOT from time to time. There is nothing bad in this short but effective sentence, no matter how others try to correlate this with weakness. Actualy it is totally opposite, cause it is much more brave to show that vulnerability and admit to yourself that you are just a human being and you are not almighty. So what if I want a day off from everything? Is that a sing that I am a weak or I am just taking care of myself and my mental healt. Everyday rush, people, collage, job, traffic are sources of stress. We deal with humongousamount of streess on a daily base and it is totally fine and kind a logical that we just walk away sometimes. Just like that walk away from everything, in silence, without drama, in peace. Peace, that is probably the biggest luxury we want to afford. In order to achieve this inner peace, sometimes we have to isolate ourselves from everything and everyone. This is not a regular everyday situation, those are rare moments that happended once in a while. There is no accurate definition of these situations but you will recognize them when you face them. Those are moments when you feel that you have reached your limits in terms of toleration and patience. When you experienced this one word can be a triger of strong reactions so it is perfectly fine, and perfectly brave and normal just to say I can not.

I can not                                                

I can not deal with bad weather that is ruining my new hair cut. I can not deal with your 13th breakup with your lousy boyfriend. I can not keep listening my boss yelling. I can not pretend I like that horrible T-shirt just because you like it. I can not be somebody else. I can not be on a class today. I can not and frankly I do not want to. And why would I? Today is day reserved for me. Today I do not deal with problems, I do not leave them for later, today I just do not accept them. Today I feel I reached my maximum and there is no place for anything and anyone else. That button of loving and caring person which is always on today will be off for at least couple of hours. I'am going to give all my attention to myself. It might sound arrogant and selfish, but trust me it's not. It is normal way of keeping yourself mentally healthy.
So next time you find yourself head over heels in anger or in any other negative emotion which is taking control over you, remember it is not cowardly to step away, and you will not be any stronger if you stay and decide to ''deal'' with that. Put yourself in number one of priorities on list and you will see how everything is changing. Once when you brake that learned pattern of dealing with emotions and find one that works for you the best, you will be happier person. Give yourself a break. Excuse me world but today I just can not.




Popularni postovi s ovog bloga

Krug

Naš svijet se pretvorio u polaganje jedine vjere u nauku. Nekolicina je polaže u Boga ili neke natprirodne sile. Uporno tražimo odgovore na pitanja za koja odgovora nema, pa makar nešto da bude utjeha. Šetajući kroz istoriju ili je religija bila ta kojoj se sve podređivalo, a nakon nje je na to mjesto stala nauka koja je imala ulogu da otvori oči čovječanstvu koje je živjelo u zabludi. A sada? Sada više nema nade uopšte, ili ako je i ima, ne znamo šta ćemo s njom.
Početak
Prije nego što čovjek spozna nauku, imao je nešto posebno što je čuvao i što mu je davalo sve potrebne odgovore. Ali tada čovjek nije bio pohlepan kao u kasnijim periodima čovječanstva, već je jednostavno prihvatao da neke odgovore on kao čovjek nikada neće moći dobiti. Ta jedna filosofija kojoj se sada svi smiju bila je sve. I žena i ljubavnica, i religija i nauka. A danas je uglavnom svi vide kao budalaštinu i prazne priče, jer ni ne žele da vide neku smislenost, lakše je biti u sigurnoj zoni gdje nema ništa novo i …

Drhtanje

Tijelo postaje tijesno u jednom trenutku. Vrištimo u sebi. Ali to niko ne čuje. Svi su prezauzeti sobom. U najgorim trenucima uvijek smo sami. Sami sa sobom. Ti trenuci jesu oni najgori. Drugačiji ne mogu ni biti. Suočavamo se sa nama samima. Nema više nikog da nam odvraća pažnju. Nema više nikog da nas tješi. Sami smo. Vidimo ono najgore. Samo najgore strane naše ličnosti. Jer mi nismo dobra bića. Ostajemo sami, i sve one iluzije koje su bile dok su drugi bili tu, nestaju. Ruše se. Lome se. Ali još ne vidimo u potpunosti ono što stvarno jesmo, iako idemo ka tome. Čekamo da se vrate. Čekamo da nam pomognu. A kako drugi da mi pomogne, kad ne mogu pomoći sama sebi? To su situacije gdje samo na sebe možemo računati, a mi tražimo. Tražimo svuda, ali nema nikog. Nema ko. Lakše je da neko drugi sve uradi mjesto nas. Lakše je da nas on liječi. Da nas on smiruje. Ako pogriješi, on je kriv. Najteže je preuzeti odgvornost. A još teže priznati sebi sve to. Kako da mi budemo krivi? Da mi snosimo …

Poroci Irvina Velša

Irski pisac koji se proslavio najviše svojim djelom “Trejnspoting” po kojem je snimljen istoimeni film, je ujedno i jedan od meni najdražih, bez obzira kakve kritike bile za njegova djela. Naravno da ima i pozitivnih, ali ima i onih koje ga isključuju iz svijeta književnosti i umjetnosti, jer očigledno pojedinci nisu svjesni društva u kojem žive. Ja ga smatram genijem. Književnim genijem koji nam dočarava kroz svoja, pomalo i bolesna djela sve najtamnije strane nas samih, našeg uma, i ujedno i društva. Što se tiče negativnih kritika uglavnom su usmjerene na to što se bavi malo drugačijim temama nego što bi to onaj najelitniji svijet književnosti očekivao, kao i takvim junacima. Ali u skladu sa vremenom, on prilagođava i svoje junake, i stvara život kakav se odvija tu pored nas, iako ga uglavnom nismo ni svjesni. Baš u tome se ogleda vrijednost njegove pisane riječi, kao i svih djela koja su potpisana njegovim imenom.



Književnost kao mjesto za velikane i velike životne uspjeheProšla su …